Putrefaction
| In case you were wondering about the source of that god-awful stench, we would like to inform you that the Brewerkz River Rats played a twin-bill versus their arch-rivals, the Wildcats.
Game One started okay. With Methuselah Vertlieb on the mound, the Rats threw up a 3-spot in the first, led by Len “I Have Muscles on My Muscles” Kiczek’s dinger. That lead was promptly erased when the Wildkittys plated 3 in the second. Following two scoreless innings, the Rats recaptured the lead. Clinging to a 2-run lead going to the seventh, the Rats came alive and scored 4 runs.
Unhappily, the previously solid defense suddenly began emitting the aforementioned stench in the bottom of the seventh. After maybe 85 dropped balls, overthrown cutoff men, etc. the Rats finally got the final out with the Wildfelines’ tying run on second base.
Offensive pink hats were earned by the K Brigade: Brian, James and Frank. Defensive pink hats were too numerous to contemplate. But at least there was plenty of beer in the dugout in between games!
Game Two started where Game One left off, e.g. stinkily. After three innings the Rats were down 4-zip, and the team managed to send only 14 batters to the plate through the first four innings. However, a four-spot in the 5th and solo run in the 6th, by way of Travis “Maybe I Should Stop Trying to Hit Homers All the Time” Washko’s single, gave the Rats a slender one run lead.
Of course, that would have been a two run lead had a certain someone (Justin “Hands of Stone” Patwin) not left third early on a sac fly tag up.
In any event, the odoriferous-but-doughty Rats managed to keep it held together for three more outs and secured the victory with a final score of 5-4.
K Brigade: Greg!
Bill “I Am Some Kind of Sport Playa” Lafferandre Batting Average for the Decade Update: Well, ‘ol Bill managed to poke a soft liner into left field barely over the shortstop, so his o-fer for the decade is now broken. Officially Bill is now 1-for-2010, which is a batting average of .00049751. (heh heh heh)
So, despite intermittently stinky fielding, deeply pungent hitting and an overall durian-esque effort, the Rats came away with their perfect record in 2010 still intact.
The good news is that the Rats are off this weekend, so the field will have an extra week to air out.
Lastly, does anyone know the local agent for Renuzit? Maybe we can get them to sponsor the team, too.
|
